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A Better Way

March 15, 2026•7 min read

For years now, we’ve been hearing that affirmations are the best, maybe even the ONLY way to achieve a positive outcome.

I just read another post with the same message, selling the same pitch. And since everyone seems to be saying it, it must be true.

Right?

Uhh… no.

I think most of this advice is coming from a place of good intentions. But it’s easy advice. And not only does one specific method or strategy not work for everyone, but affirmations also definitely aren’t the best or only option out there.

And truly… how do we even know the “experts” are following their own advice? Or that affirmations alone are what created their results?

What I see — and what I’ve lived — is that you can spend a lot of time feeling frustrated or even like a failure because affirmations simply aren’t working for you. But hear me clearly: you’re not the problem.

I know this because when I first stepped onto my spiritual path, I tried affirmations too. And I didn’t get the results I expected.

I used them for years — faithfully, consistently — while people around me were having breakthroughs and transformations. Meanwhile, I felt stuck, discouraged, and honestly… a little bitter.

I couldn’t understand why this seemingly simple tool worked so beautifully for others but left me feeling flat.

I was exhausted watching people move toward their dreams while I stayed in the same place, or worse, felt like I was moving backward.

And the truth is, I didn’t feel authentic repeating words that didn’t match my inner reality. And people can feel when you’re not being authentic — you can feel it most of all.

So let me say this clearly: Affirmations are just one tool on the spiritual path.

They’re not the only way.

They’re not the best way.

They’re simply one option.

And the best way?

The one that actually works for you.

The one your body softens into. The one your spirit recognizes as true.

What’s Not So Great About Affirmations

Here’s the thing. Affirmations are a good and simple tool, but I can't be the only one that didn't get the results that I was looking for with them. There are several reasons why. Here's what I found for myself.

When words don’t match what the heart truly believes, the mind tenses, creating resistance instead of opening.
When affirmations don't feel authentic to your inner self, it's like planting a seed in the soil that isn't ready. It's not wrong - it's simply not the right conditions for growth.
When the words you’re repeating don’t match your lived experience, your inner world senses the mismatch. Instead of moving toward the new belief, you pull away from it. The result is the opposite of what you intended.
And yes, things have changed. More and more people are waking up to the truth that forcing positivity isn’t healing. The spiritual world is shifting away from “just say it until you believe it” or "fake it till you make it" and toward something more compassionate, more embodied, more honest.
Your soul doesn’t want you to leap over your truth. It wants you to walk with it — gently, step by step.

So, what can you do?

Fortunately, there’s a better way. Instead of just throwing words at the wall and seeing what might stick, try something else.

Wouldn’t you rather spend your time doing something that feels like it’s authentically you and that’s also crazy effective at achieving your desired outcome?

Well, now you can. And it doesn’t have to be confusing or overwhelming.

A Better Way to Create Affirmations that Truly Support You.

Here’s what I did to break free from mindless affirmations - just repeating something over and over.

**Step #1: Start with what feels possible, not perfect.**

I got clear about my goals and what was possible.

Your spirit doesn’t need you to declare a future you can’t feel yet. It needs a gentle next step — something your body can soften into.

Instead of: “I love myself completely.”

Try: “I’m learning to treat myself with more kindness.” Or "I give myself permission to be more kind to myself".

One feels like pressure.

The other feels like permission.

I personally started gauging each affirmation with what felt aligned to my personal values.

Example: My number one personal value is freedom and second is peace.

So, I would take an affirmation and hold it up to my freedom and peace values and analyze it. Does this give me peace? Does this affirmation make me feel free? Or does it feel like bondage? Or Strife?

This step alone made a huge difference. If it didn't hold my personal values, then I let it go.

**Don't skip on this part, this alone can be life changing!

Step #2: Use Language that Feels Honest and Safe

I spent time researching affirmations and the different strategies people were using to reach their goals.

I was looking for gaps in popular thinking, strategies I had tried, what seemed to work, as well as what didn’t seem to work.

And what I found was:

Authenticity is the soil where new beliefs take root. If the words feel fake, your inner self will reject them — not out of stubbornness, but out of self‑protection.

But phrases like

“I’m open to…”

“I’m willing to…”

“I’m exploring the possibility that…”

invite your system to relax instead of resist. And I was full of resistance, so I definitely needed this.

**Step #3: Let Your Affirmation Meet You Where You Actually Are**

After keeping records of what worked and what didn't, I came up with a better way.

Affirmations aren’t meant to drag you into a new identity. They’re meant to walk beside you as you grow.

When you honor your starting point, the shift becomes sustainable.

Your soul responds beautifully to movement — even tiny movement. Affirmations that point you toward who you’re becoming feel empowering, not overwhelming.

Think: “I’m becoming someone who trusts herself more each day.”

If an affirmation makes you tense, it’s not aligned. If it makes you breathe deeper and aligns with your personal values, you’re on the right path.

Your body is the truth‑teller. Your affirmation should feel like a softening, not a tightening.

Next Steps

When affirmations feel too far from your truth, they create resistance — but when you choose words that feel honest, possible, and safe, they become a gentle path toward the version of you you’re growing into.

Start where you are, speak what your body and mind can receive, and let your beliefs shift one compassionate step at a time.

Current wisdom can be little more than fads that don’t stand the test of time. Many won’t even get you where you want to go.

The good news is you can absolutely create affirmations that feels authentic to you. You just need the right roadmap - and a little independent thinking.

Before you go, take a moment with yourself.

Ask your heart what kind of affirmation it’s actually ready to receive — not the one you think you should believe, but the one that feels like a small, honest opening.

Example - What is the truest, kindest sentence I can say to myself today — one my body can actually relax into? And one that aligns with my personal values?

Let that be your starting point. Let that be your beginning.

If you would like more help, check out my journal prompts freebie below - a gentle guide - just for you.